Author’s Note: I’ve taken some creative liberty here. Even though this song did not come out until 1994, I’ve changed its date of origin. It has a "Greek/Russian" flair to it, that I wanted for this scene and Nikolas’ remembrances. It was done solely for entertainment purposes and not to be construed as accuracy in any way with original story content of GH.
Nikolas drove to the chateau that he had rented where his mother, Luke, Robin, her father and he would stay while they tried to uncover the details of the diabolical plot that his grandmother had exacted against Laura. Nikolas had known his entire life that Helena hated his mother. He knew she blamed Laura in part for his grandfather’s death and completely for his father’s death. Stephan had explained it to him when he was old enough to understand the complicated story of his parentage, what his family had done to Laura, and what the nature of his parent’s relationship was. Stephan had been one of only two defenders of his mother’s name during his childhood. Alexis was the other. She had only kind words for him about Laura. And Stephan’s portrayal of her was neither good or bad. He stated the facts about Laura without letting personal feelings regarding Mikkos or Stavros get in the way of the truth. Nikolas had appreciated it.
He could still hear his uncle trying to explain it to him. "Lasha loves you, Nikolas," he tried to reassure. "I know it doesn’t feel that way to you, but her leaving was never about you. It was about her reclaiming what had been taken from her."
"If she loved me," he asked, hesitantly, "why didn’t she take me with her?"
Stephan had patted the side of his cheek. "My boy," he admitted. "I do believe your mother had every intention of claiming you again, but Helena would never permit it. In the end, it was not an option for her. She paid the ultimate price for leaving this island: she lost you."
"Helena said if my mother truly loved me, she would never have left me."
"You must not look to Helena for answers about your mother," he had said, reflectively. "Her judgement is clouded."
"Why am I not allowed to see my mother, Uncle?"
"If you were to see your mother now," Stephan replied. "And Helena got wind of it, I believe she would harm Lasha."
With that statement, Nikolas dropped any further discussion. No matter how hurt he had been that his mother had left him, he never wanted any harm to come to her.
One thing he could always count on with his Uncle was the truth. He never sugar-coated or minimized the truth of any situation. Stephan was preparing Nikolas for the role he would assume as head of the family one day. Nikolas needed to be pragmatic as well as a realist. He needed to have the truth given to him no matter how painful or ugly. Nikolas would always be indebted to his uncle for taking that course in his upbringing.
And, Nikolas had not been completely left with no sense of Laura. Whenever Nikolas wanted to see his mother, he would retreat to his uncle’s living quarters.
There, in Stephan’s study, hung the portrait of his mother. He remembered so many moments during his youth spent staring at it, thinking how beautiful she was. Yet, her eyes had always looked so sad to him.
Laura had been pregnant with Nikolas when the portrait had been commissioned by his father. It was to hang in the Great Hall alongside the one of his grandmother and all the other women dating back centuries who had each added to the lineage of heir Princes. All of these women had a special place of honor in the Cassadine family and its history. Upon his father’s death, Helena had demanded that the painting of Laura be removed and burned. She would not permit such disgrace to hang on the wall of the Great Hall. However, his uncle had intercepted the portrait.
Stephan had told Nikolas that he had preserved the portrait because he knew there would come a day when Nikolas would have questions about Laura. He thought it was important that Nikolas know what his mother looked liked - that he have something tangible that would give him a sense of her. She was, after all, his mother.Of all the things of beauty on the island, the one thing that was his favorite was the portrait of Laura - his mother.
As he drove through the streets of Paris, the stories about his mother came spinning to the forefront of his mind. He was 13. Nikolas was learning to sail, and on this particular day, Alexis had accompanied him. Alexis was the women he looked to for his maternal needs. He had a special bond with his Aunt. It was something that Stephan encouraged - anything to keep him away from Helena and her maniacal clutches. It was the stories that Alexis told him on this excursion that had changed something in him. It was the first time in his life that he felt a true connection to his mother and came to appreciate just what she had endured.
"Stephan says that you’ve been asking about your mother?"
Nikolas looked out into the sea. Softly, he said. "There are empty places in me. They are there because I do not know her."
Alexis felt for her nephew. She knew what it was to grow up without the presence and love of a mother. Helena had seen to that for both of them. She wished she could spare Nikolas that pain. "Would you like for me to tell you my memories of your mother?" she offered.
Nikolas looked at his aunt. "I would like that very much," he replied.
"Not all of them are pleasant," she said, thoughtfully. "Do you want to hear just the good things?"
Nikolas looked Alexis seriously in the eyes, and, without flinching, said. "I want to hear it all."
Alexis nodded. He was such a serious young man. She wished he had more joy in his life. Hopefully, it would come for him one day. But, for now, she respected his right to know and his desire to want to know about his mother. It was nothing less than she had wanted as a young girl. She began. "Your mother was very reserved while on the island. I identified with her quite a bit, because I had been taken from a life where I was happy and brought here where my father ignored me, and Helena despised me. For your mother, it was Stavros who ignored her except when it suited him, and Helena who despised her. So, we shared a common bond."
Alexis watched Nikolas as she spoke. She did not want her words to hurt him. They were meant to help ease his burden of feeling unwanted and unloved by his mother. She continued, "You must keep something in perspective, Nikolas. Your mother was happily married when your father and Helena had her kidnaped and brought here against her will. Nothing about this place was endearing to her, and she had no reason to be happy. You see, I had the room just next to hers and many nights, I heard her cry herself to sleep. Anyway, I knew exactly how she felt. She did not want to be in this place. She wanted to go home and be with her husband and family. She wanted to be where she was loved and valued. The only saving grace for both of us was Stephan who is a kind and sensitive man."
Nikolas contemplated his aunt’s words. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"You know that I’ve never been a fan of your father’s," Alexis said. "He was mean and cruel. As children, he bullied me, he taunted me and he made fun of me. He treated your mother much the same way. She was unattainable to him, and Stavros found that both intriguing and challenging. He also felt the need to punish her for being unable and unwilling to love him. Your father kept her isolated on the island and cut-off from the outside world as well as the rest of the family for quite some time. He did not always treat her kindly."
"If she did not like him, then why did she marry my father?"
Alexis searched for the most accurate words to try and explain it to him. She fought back tears as she recounted for Nikolas a night that was horrifying to both her and Stephan. One they had never forgotten.
She and Stephan were not like Stavros or Helena. They did not delight in the pain of others. On this particular night, those two took extra delight in the pain they would inflict upon Laura. It was the night that Stavros and Helena broke Laura Spencer’s spirit.
"Your father and grandmother made an elaborate family dinner....I don’t even remember some parts of it. I tried to block it out. It was deplorable what they did. Even at the dinner table, your mother was placed in isolation. Stavros sat at one end and Helena sat at the other. Your uncle and I sat side-by-side and your mother sat across from us, completely alone on the opposite side of the table. I knew walking into the dining hall that evening that something was up. One could feel it in the air. It was an ominous sense in the room. I asked Stephan if he knew what was going on, and he had not a clue either. So, we waited for whatever those two had in store. We were half-way through the borscht," Alexis said, still in disbelief over the happenings of that night. "Even the minor details of that evening were subtly foreboding - that soup...ice cold and the color of blood....." She shuttered, but continued. "Stavros and Helena began discussing daily world happenings that were in the news. Your mother sat quietly, with her head bowed, eating and not paying much attention to the conversation....Stavros asked Helena if she had heard about the avalanche. That conversation was so bizarre. Stavros was discussing it as if he were amused by it - stating what a horrible death it would be to, in essence, be buried alive beneath snow - struggling for air as one slowly suffocated. It was definitely not appropriate dinner conversation.
Then, Helena swooped in for the kill by asking Stavros almost innocently if she had heard correctly that Luke Spencer had been in that avalanche."
Nikolas listened intently as Alexis told him this dark tale.
"Your mother dropped her spoon, and I heard her cry out ‘
what?’, as if she had heard incorrectly. Then, Stavros looked at her rather cooly and confirmed what Helena had said. I remember the color completely drained from Laura’s face, and my heart broke for her in that moment. She looked back and forth between Helena, and Stavros and said that she didn’t believe it. She knew they were toying with her."
"Was it true?" Nikolas asked. "Or had he and my grandmother made it up?"
"At the time, it appeared to be true," Alexis said. "Stavros produced a copy of the Port Charles Herald. It was front-page. Laura grabbed the newspaper and examined it carefully. Helena gloated as she watched your mother read the article. Stephan and I sat there in shock over how they had crushed her spirit and taken such pleasure in it, Nikolas. It was unthinkable and ill-mannered to break something like that to her in that way. Your uncle and I wanted to reach out to her in that moment, but we didn’t dare. Had we intervened, we would have felt swift repercussion. But, you could see Laura reeling over the news - the rug had been pulled out from under her, while they put her on a macabre display. She was terribly shaken by it. One could see the devastation written all over her face," she paused, considering what Nikolas’ mother had truly suffered that night. "I had to admire Laura, though. She did not give Stavros or Helena the satisfaction of seeing her breakdown. She would not open her heart in front of them and give them the satisfaction of seeing the thousands of tears that she wept for him. She simply asked to be excused."
Nikolas shifted uneasily as he listened to Alexis tell him these things.
"Helena looked at your mother very smugly and taunted her by saying ‘welcome to the club, my dear.’" It was so cruel. Stephan didn’t sit for it any longer. He went to help your mother from her chair and told her he was sorry. That angered Stavros. He glared at Stephan and berated him for his compassion toward Laura. He said that it was a night for celebration because the man who had killed their father was dead.
"Those words stung your mother. I remember she shot a harsh look at Stavros when he said it. Your mother was one of a very few people who wasn’t afraid of Stavros and she spat words of anger in his face about how vile he was.
"Helena ignored your mother’s words and raised her wine glass, chanting, ‘Here! Here!’ Here’s to Luke Spencer! May the doors of hell open for him quickly.’ The only other time I remember feeling such hatred for Helena was the night she killed my mother."
Alexis then changed mood and giggled a bit. "Laura wasn’t afraid of Helena either," she said in awe. "She taught me how to dismiss Helena’s threats, and I became less afraid of Helena and her power. I owe that to your mother because of how she stood up to Helena." Alexis continued. "And Laura was brave that night. I really don’t think she cared in that moment if they killed her or not. If Luke was truly gone, nothing mattered to her. And she certainly knocked Helena off her high-horse!"
Nikolas became intrigued. "What did she do?"
Alexis laughed again at the memory of Helena’s shocked face. "Your mother turned to her and said, ‘Shut up, you withered, old bitch! If my husband is, indeed, dead, I can at least take comfort in knowing that he died loving me, which is more than you can say about that maniac you were married to!’ Oh, it was priceless.""What happened next?"
"Stavros ordered Stephan and me to take Laura to her living chambers."
"Uncle has always said that my father and grandmother were both ruthless and heartless people," Nikolas replied.
Alexis nodded her head in agreement. "That’s a generous statement about either of them."
"What happened to my mother after she thought Luke had died?"
"It was awful, Nikolas," Alexis recalled. "When I helped her up from the table that night and looked into her eyes, the little bit of life and spark that had been there was gone. Her eyes looked like dark clouds. Stephan and I got her to her quarters and left her there alone with the newspaper.
"I laid in my bed until late in the night listening to her sob. It wasn’t just crying. It was deep,painful sobs. I couldn’t bear to listen to it for long, and went out onto my terrace until she wore herself out and sleep finally came for her. I saw personally that her grief was insurmountable. She was not going to recover from the loss of Luke, so, I think she just gave up. Her will to fight them was gone.
"I snuck into her room the next morning to tell her how sorry I was. In the midst of such terrible grief, she thanked me for my kindness," Alexis said. "I thought that was amazing. I told her that I would try and find out for certain what had happened to Luke. She looked at me with a tiny glimmer of hope. Your mother began to trust me a little that day."
"So, you liked Laura?"
Alexis nodded and said. "I liked her very much. I was the first person on the island who she trusted and confided in - as much as she trusted or confided in any of us."
"She was smart," Nikolas said, matter-of-fact. "...to give you her trust."
Alexis smiled at her nephew for the compliment. She said. "Pain recognizes and identifies with pain. She saw in me what I saw in her, and it allowed us to take a risk and trust one another."
"So, how was she able to look past my father’s cruelty and marry him?"
Alexis thought about how to tell him the next part. "Nikolas," she said. "Do you remember the time when you had that terrible case of flu, and the doctor wouldn’t let you out of bed or your living quarters for almost 10 days? You had to take you meals in there, and no one could visit you because you were contagious. Do you remember how alone and bored you were? Do you remember how you cried to Stephan to let you go outside into the garden for some fresh air? - just for a minute of sunlight on your face?"
"Yes, I remember it."
"Your mother lived that every day she was on this island, except for the rare occasion when she was brought to the dining hall. She was never allowed to leave her living quarters. She truly was a prisoner. It slowly began to take its toll on her."
"They never let her go outside?" Nikolas asked, stunned by this revelation.
"Not until after she agreed to marry your father," Alexis said. "Stavros went to her several weeks after word came about the avalanche and Luke’s death, and gave her a proposition: she could either marry him and, in exchange, be given privileges of walking around the island for an hour a day, or she could remain the prisoner that she was."
"So, she really had nothing to loose at that point," Nikolas said, softly.
"No," Alexis replied. "She always believed that Luke would rescue her. When she believed that he had died, she didn’t care about anything else. Her hope died with him. She knew she was never going to leave the island, so she chose to have an hour of solitude each day - away from the ones she loathed."
"Then there was never any love between them?"
Alexis turned Nikolas’ face to her, so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "I won’t lie to you, Nikolas. Laura hated your father. It never lessened over time, but she adored you!"
"How can you say that with any certainty - that she adored me?"
"Because I was with her the night that she delivered you."
"What?" he asked, confused. No one had ever told him this.
"When she became pregnant with you, Laura had life in her again," Alexis explained. "It wasn’t the same kind of life, but there was genuine happiness in her. She was going to have someone who she could love and someone who would love her in return. You gave her hope that her future would have some meaning, as she lived out her life here in her prison."
"If she hated my father," he replied. "How could she possibly love me?"
"Oh, Nikolas," Alexis said, feeling his pain. "One thing had nothing to do with the other. Laura became immune to the fact that she was Stavros’ wife or that he treated her like chattel. Her emotions were shut down when Luke died, so it didn’t matter how Stavros used her. I don’t expect you to understand this because you are a male, but the woman inside her was dead. With you, the mother in her was born and that is how she saw and defined herself.
"I remember when she became pregnant with you," Alexis said. "She asked Stavros for some knitting needles and baby blue yarn - the softest that he could get for her. She knew from the beginning that she was having a son."
"My mother made that blue afghan?" Nikolas was stunned. He had adored that blanket. He could not sleep at night without it. He had always assumed that it had been purchased in a fine baby boutique because it had been so perfectly made. It looked like it had been made by an artisan.
Alexis smiled. "Yes. She sat by the window in her room everyday, knitting that afghan - humming to herself. No one came to our living area much, except when Stavros wanted her for something. So, I would visit with her periodically. We weren’t friends by any means, but we became close acquaintances. She trusted me and Stephan, as much as she allowed herself to trust."
"I can’t believe that it wasn’t taken from me after she left."
"Had Helena known about it," Alexis said, "It would have been burned. But, she didn’t know. Stavros never returned home after he went after your mother. Perhaps, he would have destroyed it too. However, Stephan and I talked about it and felt that it was important that you have a few things from your mother."
"Why did no one tell me?"
"Stephan said that we were not to speak of Laura until and unless you asked about her.... Now that you have begun to ask about her, the time has come to tell you the truth about what happened."
"You said that you were with her the night I was born?"
Alexis nodded. "Yes. Historically, the Heir Prince’s mother would witness the birth of the next Heir Prince. Helena refused. As much as she loved your father, she hated Laura just as much and would not lift a finger to help her during your delivery. It was unheard of that Helena would not be present. Every Cassadine birth was witnessed by a Cassadine female. Since Helena would not do it, Stephan suggested to Stavros that I be the one to witness your birth. Surprisingly, he agreed."
"Why surprisingly?"
Alexis smiled and replied. "I was never one of Stavros’ favorite people, but I think some part of your father truly loved Laura as much as he was capable of love and he knew that I cared about her. You were the only thing important to him. He wanted your birth to be a blessed event, and he knew that Laura was comfortable with me. So, he agreed to it."
Nikolas looked out at the sea. "I find this all so interesting. Nothing has ever been said to me about how my father felt about my mother. Helena acts as if the Gods of ancient Greece placed me here. What do you know of his love for my mother?"
"It’s odd," Alexis said. "As indifferent as he was with her, the few things she demanded of him were not denied her. I know of five demands she made of him. Each one was quite significant, but he did not refuse her any of them."
"And they were?"
"He wanted her wedding ring from Luke," Alexis recalled. "She told him she would remove it but he would have to kill her to take it. Stavros admired her resolve and allowed her to keep it. It made no sense considering how much he hated Luke. By the same token, she agreed to marry him but would not wear his ring. He must have loved her to allow that. It was unheard of for the Princess Consort not to wear the Cassadine crest of marriage. I remember Helena being outraged over it until Stavros mentioned to her that he thought it would make her happy to know that Laura would not have that honor. I think Stavros made Helena think it was his idea. That thought appeased her, but Stephan and I knew the truth about it.
"What else did she demand?" He asked, enjoying discovering these things about his mother.
Alexis paused for a moment. She had taken delight in Laura’s demands because the only other woman she had ever seen have her way was Helena. Each demand that Laura made and was granted, Alexis quietly celebrated as a victory over Helena. Each time it happened, it let Helena know that her wishes were not priority. And anything that made Helena unhappy delighted
Alexis. "When Stavros announced that Laura was pregnant, Helena began construction of a nursery in the west wing of the compound that was close to her. Laura would have none of it! She told Stavros that her son would not to be taken from her and that a nursery would be added to her living quarters. She told Stavros that she was the mother to this child and no one was going to deprive her of having you near her. When Stavros let Laura have her way, it sent Helena into a rage. Your father would not acquiesce."
Nikolas was in deep thought as he listened to Alexis recount these memories for him. "He must have loved her to have defied Helena in that manner."
"It was all so odd," she said. "Each thing that your mother said she would not tolerate, she was not made to....except, of course, he would never willingly allow her to leave the island," Alexis added. "Then, there was the matter over your christening gown." Alexis told him. "I’ll never forget the day that Helena returned from Paris. She had purchased an exquisite gown for your christening and made the mistake of informing Stavros about it over a family dinner. Your mother glared at Helena. Laura no longer ate at the table with her head down, disinterested in the family conversation. Somewhere within your mother, I think she believed she would leave the island with you one day, and she listened intently concerning everything that went on. Looking
back in hindsight, I see that she was biding her time...
"Anyway, Laura glared at Helena and said defiantly, ‘you will
not make these decisions regarding my son!’," Alexis began to laugh at the memory.
"Oh, God! The look on Helena’s face was priceless. She looked to your father for approval but Laura demanded to know if Stavros’ grandmother had selected his christening gown. Stavros enjoyed playing Helena against Laura when it suited him. That night, it suited him. So, he posed the question to Helena."
Nikolas had to smile over this. He could see Helena in his mind as Alexis painted the picture for him. "And what was Helena’s answer?"
"She scoffed and threw her napkin on her plate,"
Alexis replied. "Then, she stormed out of the dining hall. The following morning, the christening gown was sent back to Paris with a note from Stavros. Stephan told me that Stavros told the woman who had made the gown to keep the money with his well wishes, but the christening gown was no longer needed. He told her to sell it to someone who would enjoy its beauty on their child."
"I imagine that didn’t sit well with Helena," Nikolas said. So, the christening gown that hung in the back of his closet had been selected by his mother. It was one more thing that had special sentiment to him now. He and Alexis sailed for a few minutes, enjoying the warm breeze off the Aegean. Then, he asked. "You said she made five demands of my father. What was the last one?"
Alexis smiled at her nephew again. "It was the most meaningful one for me. She told Stavros that she wanted me to be your Godmother. Well, you know that went over like a lead balloon with Helena," she replied. "Helena hated me as much as she hated your mother! She had suggested to Stavros that our cousin, Melina Cassadine, be chosen as your Godmother. Laura said dismissively to Stavros that she did not know who Melina Cassadine was and that she wanted me to be your Godmother."
Nikolas smiled with Alexis. "Well, I know how that ended," he said, thinking about all that he had learned. "It sounds like my mother had important influence with my father."
"I think if your mother had shown Stavros one ounce of affection or love," Alexis concluded, thinking about it. "That he would have given her anything she asked of him. Of all the things I can say about your father, one thing was for certain: he wasn’t a fool. He knew from day one that Laura would never love him, so he treated her indifferently. But she did intrigue him which is why I think he couldn’t deny the few things she asked of him.""And you were actually there with her when I was born?"
Alexis’ eyes welled with tears as she remembered it. "Yes. It was the most awesome sight. Laura refused to be put to sleep, as was custom. She said she wanted to feel every moment of your birth. I knew she was anxious though. She was only 20, and so far away from her mother who I know she missed terribly! Her labor was long and hard - nineteen hours it took. Instead of her growing weary, it seemed with every passing hour, she gained more strength. A nurse had to go out every 30 minutes to update Stavros who sat anxiously awaiting with Stephan for the official word that you had arrived.
"I kept feeding Laura ice chips and putting cool compresses on her forehead. Honest to God, I don’t know how she endured it for so long. Stavros had classical music piped in so that you would be born into a soothing atmosphere. Laura would close her eyes and breathe deeply in and out, as violins or harps filled the room.
"As the pain intensified, and we moved closer to your birth, her breathing became deeper. I remember when the doctor said your head had crowned, and it was time for Laura to push, she called out to me and reached for my hand," the tears fell from Alexis’ face as she shared this with her nephew. "It was the most powerful feeling I have ever experienced. I held Laura’s hand as she pushed you into this world." Alexis began to laugh as she wiped the tears from her face. "Then, we heard your very vocal cry as they took you to clean you off. Laura searched the room frantically to see you. She didn’t speak Greek, and she looked to me to tell them that she wanted her son.
"When they handed you to her, she began to laugh and cry and kiss your face. She closed her eyes as she laid her head against your cheek and just said over and over, ‘my beautiful boy! I love you!’. It was an amazing thing to watch." Alexis looked at Nikolas who was looking out at the Aegean. "As the nurse placed you into Laura’s arms, I looked up and, standing in the back of the room, in a hospital robe and face mask stood Helena. She wouldn’t be there to help Laura, but she couldn’t not be there to witness Stavros’ son being born. It was the only time I saw the look on her face soften as she looked at Laura."
Nikolas turned away from Alexis as the tears filled his eyes. For the first time in his life, he knew that his mother loved him...
* * *
For hours, they sailed the Aegean, just he and Alexis. Throughout that entire time, Alexis told him story after story about his mother. Stephan had given his permission for her to do so, and Nikolas asked everything he could think of.
"How was she with me?" he asked Alexis. "Did she like being with me?"
"You were her life," she recalled. "I would watch from my balcony as she walked down by the sea. It was just you and her. I have this one imagine in my mind: your mother was wearing a long flowing white blouse and a white Greek style skirt that went to her ankles. Her hair was long and free, and she looked like an angel carrying you around with the wind blowing in your faces. I could hear her laugh and you giggling. She sat many times on the retaining wall, keeping a close hand on you as she played peek-a-boo and sang
row, row, row your boat. These are things she knew as a child. She waited until she had her private hour away from the compound before she shared those type personal things with you. But, I watched many times from my balcony because it was on the side of the compound where she always took you. I think
in her heart, she wanted someone to witness her interaction with you in case there came a time that she was taken away from you."
"I have one vague memory of her," he said. "It’s blurry and I don’t know if I was dreaming but I feel myself in the air. I can see her eyes and her smile, and I hear her calling ‘Nicky...’ I think I must have dreamed that...."
Alexis shook her head. "No," she replied. "You didn’t dream that. Laura would gently throw you up just a bit above her head and catch you. It made you kick and squeal and giggle. She had found something that gave you pleasure, and she played with you like that everyday. Then, she would nuzzled her cheek into your cheek and kiss you all over your face.""So, she did call me Nicky?"
"Yes," Alexis said. "Only in those private moments when she was alone with you. Then, she would call you Nicky. I would hear her ask you if you were full after you had nursed, and I saw her caress your check with her fingers....rubbing back and forth."
Nikolas turned to Alexis completely stunned. He thought nannies’s had cared for him. "My mother nursed me?"
"Oh, yes! She insisted upon it," Alexis said. "She nursed you for the first year of your life. I remember one day, I popped in to say hello and she was nursing you. I turned to leave but Laura stopped me. She asked me to sit with her for a bit, so I did. She thanked me for all the help and support I had been to her during her pregnancy and your birth. I told her that it wasn’t necessary and we talked a while longer. I told her it was a beautiful sight to watch a mother nurse her baby.
"She looked so serene when she nursed you," Alexis said. "Then, I remember out of the blue she softly said to me, ‘he’s mine, Alexis. Nikolas is truly my son! I have bonded him to me in ways that won’t effect him until he’s much older, but he’ll know about them someday because he has my heart. He’s such a sweet boy....’," Alexis recounted, watching her nephew’s reaction as she
told him these things. "Then, she made a request of me. I’ll never forget the look on her face. She asked me if I would tell you how much she loved you, if something ever happened to her. It broke my heart, but I told her I would."
Nikolas turned to Alexis and asked, "Did she fear for her life for some reason?"
"I don’t think so," Alexis replied. "I think she just wanted to make certain, for her own peace of mind, that you would know that she loved you."
"I wish I had known it sooner," he said, somberly.
"I wanted to tell you sooner," Alexis told him apologetically. "But Stephan was adamant that the discussion of Laura would not take place until you sought the answers. And Laura’s words to me that day were not fortuitous."
"How do you mean?"
"She touched you in ways that were subtle imprints," Alexis said, thoughtfully. "She told me that you had her heart, and I believe that to be true. She silently spoke to yours, Nikolas, in ways that have become inherent in you." Alexis waited for these words to sink in.
"How so?"
"One thing that Laura did to pass the time that she spent in her living quarters was listen to music. I think it soothed the ache in her soul - the pain that she was never able to speak about with anyone. Aside from you, music became her comfort."
"Are you saying that I get my love of music from my mother?"
Alexis shook her head. "Not just music. Specific music," she answered. "I notice when you are troubled, upset - even angry, you retreat to your room. You lock yourself away, sometimes for hours, and play the music of your heart. You always seem better after you listen to your music that calms your soul...
"Bregovic’s Lullabye, Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major, Rachmaninov’s Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini....those were your mother’s favorites. She repeatedly played them everyday. She would read with them as background music. She would nurse you while they played. She would rock you to sleep with them - especially to Bregovic."
"I thought Stephan was responsible for my love of classical music," Nikolas said, as the magnitude of Alexis’ words washed over him. "He introduced it to me at such an early age."
Alexis smiled. "Yes, but he never played those three songs," she pointed out. "You know that Stephan developed a caring relationship with your mother, just as did I. After she left, he never played those songs. They made him sad...You found them on your own. Perhaps, it was something your mother imprinted on your heart that you never forgot."
Nikolas felt the quickening of his heartbeat. He had no words.
After a moment, Alexis said. "I think you should know that Laura made an attempt to get you back in 1984."
Nikolas was stunned. "Why didn’t Stephan ever tell me this?" he asked.
"It wasn't the time for you to know until now. It was too dangerous," she replied. "And, he thought it would be easier for you to hear it from me."
"Did I get to see her?"
"No," Alexis replied, remembering Stephan telling her about it. "Helena found out about it and met your mother at the Athens airport. She warned her to stay away."
"I didn’t think Laura was afraid of Helena."
"She wasn’t, until Helena had her mother killed," Alexis said, recalling how she, herself, felt the night Helena killed her own mother.
Nikolas let out a long sigh. He cleared his throat, then asked. "Did Stephan tell you about my sister?"
"I know that she’s gravely ill," she replied, softly.
"She needs a bone marrow transplant, or she’ll die," he stated. "Stephan said that it appears I am the only match. I have the power to cure her."
"That must feel very overwhelming."
"He has looked into it," Nikolas said. "And was very honest with me about it. The operation is both painful and dangerous."
Alexis didn’t say anything. She let him work it out for himself.
"I asked him how my mother was doing and if he had spoken to her,"
"Has he?"
"No," Nikolas told her. "From what I’ve been told, she’s having a rough time with it. Stephan said she has tried to make contact. It seems she needs me after all."
"It must have taken a lot of courage for her to call," Alexis replied. "I’m certain it’s in the back of her mind whether or not Helena might kill someone else in her family. I don’t believe Laura made contact simply because her daughter needs your bone marrow, Nikolas. I think this freed her conscience to try and make contact again."
Nikolas thought about Alexis’ last statement. "Stephan said the decision will be mine to make," he stated.
"As it should be."
"If it were you," he asked, hesitantly. "What would you do?"
Alexis remembered Kristina. The uncertainty of her well-being and whereabouts haunted her everyday. She did not take his question lightly, nor her reply. "If it were me, I would help my sister."
* * *
Nikolas down-shifted as he rounded the corner to the chateau. As he drove up to the guard station to identify himself, his cell phone rang. "This is Nikolas Cassadine."
"Master Nikolas," his private detective said. "My investigators have traced a signal that we believe came from your grandmother’s cell phone. It came from a small island off the Aegean. It seems that Mrs. Cassadine has been very busy purchasing this island and building a state-of-the art complex."
"Have you verified this?"
"I have," he replied. "I think you should see it for yourself."
"Do you know if she is there?"
"The signal came from her yacht. It seems she’s on her way to Paris."
Nikolas thought about this before he replied. "I want you to hire a team of explosive experts, electrical technicians and a locksmith. Put them on a ship and tell them I will meet them there tomorrow.... In the meantime, I want every building plan, and permit that has been filed with the Greek government regarding this compound. I also want the name of every contractor who worked on this project for my grandmother."
"I’ll get right on it, sir."
* * *
Nikolas removed his sunglasses as he entered the chateau. He spoke with the staff briefly and learned that Robert and Luke had gone to meet with their own French private detective and Robin was at the hospital with Roche.
"J'aimerais voir ma m re."
I’d like to see my mother.
L'intendant [the butler] nodded and showed Nikolas to a suite in the back of the chateau.
Laura was seated at the window when he entered.
Nikolas spoke to the nurse. "J'aimerais passer quelques temps avec ma m re, s'il vous plaît. Je vous appellerai quand je suis par."
I'd like to spend some time with my mother, please. I'll call you when I'm through.The nurse left the room and closed the door behind her. Nikolas walked to where Laura sat and knelt down beside her. It was too horrible for him to imagine that Helena had actually done this to her. The truth of it stirred an anger in him that had only been equaled to what he felt when Helena had kidnaped Spencer from Colleen the previous Christmas. The depths of his grandmother’s hatred startled even him.
His Cassadine blood began to rise up within him as he determined how he would deal with Helena once and for all. Killing her would be too easy. Her treachery needed to be met with a punishment equal to what she had done to his mother. It would take some doing, but he believed that he could convince Luke to agree to his plans for Helena, once he gave it serious consideration. Of course, they had to intercept Helena first. It would be the first time in her life that she would regret seeing him.
Nikolas laid his cheek in his mother’s lap. He had dreamed of doing it so many times as a child. Only then, he had longed to feel her run her fingers through his hair or feel her arms securely wrap around him after a nightmare had pulled him from sleep. He had longed for so many things regarding his mother. He had long ago reconciled the hurt he had felt over her leaving him behind. Alexis had clarified so many painful questions that had plagued him on that summer day when he was 13.
The sounds of Bregovic, Pachelbel and Rachmaninov filled his head - the soothing melodies that his mother had ingrained into his soul. Those tranquil, comforting heart sounds she had left him with had become more important to him after that day sailing on the Aegean. It was as Alexis had said that day, his mother had silently spoken to his heart many years ago. Somewhere in his subconsciousness, he had heard her, and the music connected him to her. On those days that he found himself troubled or missing her, he would often find himself staring at her portrait, memorizing her face. Then, he would play the music, allowing it to envelop him, as he imagined Laura sitting in her room listening to it as he slept or lay in her arms.
Tears fell from his eyes and were absorbed into the lap of her nightgown. He took her hand and kissed it. Then, he looked into her blank stare and made this promise:
"I will make this right, Mom. Helena is finally going to pay for all the years that she hurt you, and for all the years she kept you from me! I will not rest until I find her and make her pay. I give you my word."
He took a moment to regain his composure before he left to search for Luke. Nikolas had to update him on his findings regarding Helena and her impending arrival in Paris. Then, he would leave immediately for the island of Calypso to see what his grandmother had been up to.
https://youtu.be/YVZYychHL8E [Goran Bregovic/Lullabye]
http://youtu.be/hOA-2hl1Vbc [Pachelbel's Canon in D Major]
http://youtu.be/4E7XHOotTX0 [Rhapsody on a Theme of Paginini/Rachmaninov]
* * *
