If Ever

The fog was moving in thicker and denser than usual. He could hear the fog horns from a distant ship approaching one of the docks. The fog was so heavy that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face.
He felt a sick, uneasy feeling in his gut. Something wasn’t right. It was past 1 am now and Laura
should have reached the Titan hours ago.
Lesley, Rick and Amy were at the Webber household, waiting by the phone in case she called there. He was checking with them every half hour to see if they’d heard from her. Tiffany had gone back to the Titan to wait and Luke and Robert were searching the docks.
Luke was frantic.
"Laura!" Luke screamed into the cold, dark air.
"Laura!" Where could she be? Where in the hell could she be? The fact that he knew that she would have called to tell him she was delayed somewhere and hadn’t told Luke that something was very wrong.
That thought made him panic. He looked down several piers but couldn’t see a damn thing.
"Luke!" Robert called.
"Yeah, man," Luke called back. "Anything?"
"No Mate," he said, finally coming into view of his friend. "Not a bloody thing. I’ve notified
Dan at the PCPD. They can’t fill out a missing person’s form until she’s been gone for 24 hours but he’s got a few of his men checking around."
"I’ve got a bad feeling about this, Robert."
"Try not to worry," Robert knew this sounded stupid as soon as he said it. "We’ll find her.... Rick and Lesley haven’t heard from her?"
"Not a word," Luke said, the concern evident in his voice. "Tiffany hasn’t heard from her either."
"What about Kelly’s?" Robert asked. "Do they know to call Lesley or Tiffany if they see her?"
"Rose will call if she hears anything," Luke said, zipping his leather jacket. The January air had gotten colder. He didn’t know what the temperature had dropped to, but the thought that Laura might be out here hurt or worse made him crazy. "I should have told her to stay in New York until tomorrow. Why didn’t I tell her that?"
"Listen, Mate," Robert said, trying to console as best he could. "You can’t beat yourself up for that. You had no way of knowing the weather was going to turn like this. She wanted to come home as much as you wanted her home tonight. Besides, we know that Laura left New York, and we know she landed in Port Charles.
We’ve just got to find out what happened after she got to the airport."
"I was there, Man," Luke said, trying to think where else she may have gone. "There wasn’t a trace of her at the airport. The pilot said she de-boarded the plane but no one recalls seeing her after that. It doesn’t make sense."
"What about Claudia?" Robert asked. "Maybe she went to Claudia’s apartment when the fog got so bad. Her place is close to here."
Luke shook his head. "She would have called someone. She landed over six hours ago!"
"Yeah, well...." Robert said, reaching for anything that might be a possibility. "I’m going to call her just to check."
"Will you call Lesley and Tiffany too," Luke asked. "I’ll keep looking."
"Sure.""Laura!" Luke screamed again. His throat was raw from the hours of calling her name. Why hadn’t he believed her when she said that someone was following her? She had told him three weeks ago that she sensed someone was watching her. She had said it a couple of times since then. Why hadn’t he taken her seriously? Those conversations haunted him now. Luke placed his hand on either side of his mouth and called for her again.
That’s how it went - night fading into daylight as Luke frantically searched the docks and hopelessly called her name...

* * *

Hours and hours past with no word and no trace of Laura. Lesley and Rick’s unease had risen almost to the level of his, but no one’s concern was greater than Luke’s. Laura was his life....He was in a hellish nightmare and, periodically, he’d smack his fist against his leg to see if it was truly real.
Sadly, he wasn’t dreaming.
Luke and Tiffany sat at the Titan’s bar drinking black coffee. The phone was sitting silently in front of him. The police were out in full force searching.
Robert had left an hour prior to join them again. Every minute she was gone, seemed like an hour and Luke felt a fearful anxiety rise up within him. He was going crazy with every hour that past and she still wasn’t home. A feeling of doom was taking hold.
Tiffany rubbed his forearm but didn’t say anything.
There was nothing to say. The fearful look on her face spoke volumes. She went for the coffee pot to re-fill their cups. When she turned back with coffee pot in hand, she saw Robert and Dan enter the room.
There were grim looks on their faces, but something in Robert’s eyes made her heart sink. She sat the pot on the bar.
"Luke..." Dan hesitated, looking for the right words.
Robert stepped up. "Mate," he said in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper.
Luke searched Robert’s face and knew before he spoke the words that his life was over. He stared at his best friend, warning him not to say it. Somehow, if he didn’t say it, Luke could believe that it wasn’t true. "Don’t, Man!"
"Luke," Robert said, sorrowfully. "The coast guard found a boat about 17 miles out. Laura’s purse was in it and this." Robert pulled a scarf from his pocket.
Tiffany fell against the bar, grabbing its railing so she wouldn’t collapse. Luke stared blankly at Robert and the scarf. He took the scarf from Robert.
"Amy gave this to Laura for Christmas," he said in disbelief.
"Dear God!" Tiffany cried.
"Luke," Dan said, glumly. "We’re doing everything possible to recover her body. The Coast Guard is dragging the harbor now. I’ll let you know if we find anything. I’m so sorry."
Tiffany began to cry. Luke sat motionless as if he couldn’t have possibly heard correctly....dragging the harbor......her purse in a boat.....Luke took the scarf from Robert. Robert grabbed Luke’s shoulder.
He couldn’t say anything. He didn’t trust himself to speak at this moment. Tiffany went to Robert and buried her head into his chest, shaking her head and sobbing. "It’s just too awful," she wept as Robert put his arms around her.Luke put the scarf to his face. It was so soft and beautiful - just like Laura.
He closed his eyes and inhaled the delicate scent of her perfume. This wasn’t happening! This couldn’t be happening! It was a cruel joke.....
"What can I do to help you, Mate?"
Luke didn’t say anything for a moment, then he calmly asked if Robert could call Lesley.
"Sure thing."
"And Bobbie?" he asked emotionless. Luke rose from the barstool. "I’ll see the two of you later," he said. "I need to be alone for awhile..." He walked to his and Laura’s cabin as if in a trance, the scarf hanging from his hand.
Robert laid his cheek on top of Tiffany’s head. He wasn’t a crying man but the thought of Laura’s lifeless body floating in the cold waters of the Port Charles Harbor almost took him to his knees. Tears flowed from his own eyes as Tiffany continued to sob.
They held each other like that for a long, long time.

* * *

Luke opened the door to the cabin that he shared with Laura and stood in the doorway looking around the room, half-way expecting to see her in the bed with the lamp turned on, waiting for him. He couldn’t believe that he’d never see her in this room again.
He couldn’t believe that she was gone. He didn’t feel her gone. Certainly, if she was dead, wouldn’t he feel it in the deepest parts of his soul? Wouldn’t his heart tell him that it was so? Still, she was no where to be found and that thought haunted him. Why would she have been on a boat? Nothing added up except that Laura was gone. The room began closing in on him as the thought of her being gone forever kept sinking deeper and deeper into his consciousness. He was lost without her.....he couldn’t make it without her....Suddenly, Luke couldn’t breathe. Every sense and feeling in his body blew as his internal circuits began to disconnect and shut-down. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" he howled like a wounded animal calling for his mate. "Lauraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
The screams reached the bar and made Tiffany jump in Robert’s arms. She shook her head faster back and forth as Luke’s mournful wails could be heard all throughout the docks. She put her hands over her mouth holding back her sobs. Robert’s arm held her tighter as the pain of Luke’s cries assaulted his senses. He knew Luke well enough to leave him alone with his grief. Tiffany shivered as she heard Luke throwing chairs and pictures and whatever else he could get his hands on. She heard the breaking of glass and lamps. It went on like that for over an hour.
The rampage ended as quickly as it had began. When Luke emerged from the cabin hours later, he looked broken and empty. And, the look in his eyes was dead and vacant. It would stay that way for a long time.

* * *

The fog was moving in thicker and denser than usual. He could hear the fog horns from a distant ship approaching one of the docks. The fog was so heavy that he couldn’t see his hand in front of his face. He felt a sick, uneasy feeling in his gut. Something wasn’t right....he was searching for her in the fog, pushing the damp haze away from him so that he could find her.....In the distance, he saw her face, like a reflection in the water. Her hand reached out for him. She was smiling. He was walking toward her slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on her face. Luke was holding out his hands to her, trying to touch her.
If he could just reach her, everything would be alright.....
He blinked his eyes, trying to see through the fog.
When he looked back in the direction that he’d seen her, the face that appeared before him was Tracy’s. She was laughing in that bellowing way as Luke grabbed his hands to his ears to make it stop.
"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" he screamed and bolted up from the bed. He was panting, trying to catch his breath as the perspiration soaked through his t-shirt, making it stick to his chest. Luke looked around the dark room for a moment trying to get his bearings. The moonlight cast a stream of light onto the floor. His heartbeat began to slow as he picked up the bedside clock. 4am. Luke ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, trying to cast the nightmare off of him.
He went to the dresser and pulled another t-shirt from the drawer. He changed shirts as he walked out his bedroom door and downstairs. There was only one thing that would settle him. Luke walked quietly to her room. He didn’t want to frighten the night-nurse.
He wouldn’t have to say a word to her. He had done this before. When she saw him, she would realize that Luke wanted, for whatever reason, to be alone with his wife. She would quietly exit, knowing that Luke would stay with her until the day-nurse began her shift.
And, that’s exactly how it happened.
Once she had left, Luke went to the bed where Laura lay and pulled back the covers. He crawled in beside her and gently pulled Laura to him. He held her while their bodies adjusted in that familiar way that let him know she was next to him. His breathing found its beat with hers and their rhythm was in sync once again. He closed his eyes and nestled closer to Laura, drifting off to sleep.
In the morning, when the day-nurse arrived, she saw Mr. Spencer in bed with his wife. As she tip-toed out of the room, heading toward the kitchen for a cup of tea, the vision filled her with an indefinable sadness. Something about the way they looked together led her to believe that, in another lifetime, they had been a special couple. Now, Mrs. Spencer lay locked away within herself as Mr. Spencer held onto her for dear life. It was as if they were a life-preserver for the other and Luke Spencer was holding on tightly for them both.

http://youtu.be/Qbp04hJXdHI [If Ever/Peabo Bryson]

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