Rude Awakening

Rude Awakening

"When are you going to admit it? He doesn’t love you!"
Her eyes glared as she yelled. "Will you shut-up Alan!" She paced the room like a caged  animal. "All your yammering....I can’t hear myself think."
"What’s there to think about?" He asked, incredulously. "Luke couldn’t bust Laura outa here fast enough - with your help, no less. But, you! He can’t even be bothered to send someone to help you. You haven’t heard one word from him in two months!"
"He can’t call me," Tracy said, glumly. "He’s in hiding."
"With his ex-wife!" Alan exclaimed, exasperated. "If the truth be told, the only woman he considers his wife."
Tracy turned angrily toward her brother as she loudly suggested. "Why don’t you go haunt a house or something?"
Alan laughed. "Oh, Tracy," he kidded. "A house wouldn’t be half as much fun as this!"
She pursed her lips together and scowled at her dead brother. "You don’t know anything about my relationship with Luke."
"You’re right," he agreed. "I don’t, but I know about Luke and Laura. It’s one word, Tracy. LukeandLaura.  It will always be one word! He has more passion in his voice when he says her name than anytime he’s ever been with you."
"Why do you want to hurt me?" She asked him, puzzled.
Alan sighed. "I don’t want to hurt you, sister-dear! I want you to wake up! You’re delusional, Tracy, if you believe he loves you. He has no heart to give you!  He gave it to Laura years ago, and he never got it back. He didn’t want it back, and the heart that is with him doesn’t belong to you.  Why can’t you see that? Why can’t you see that the only one in his heart is her?"
"I don’t believe that," she said. Tracy sounded as if she were trying to assure herself of that fact more than Alan. "Laura represents an idealistic love. Idealism isn’t lasting."
"Are you listening to yourself?" Alan asked, dumbfounded. "It’s been going strong for 28 years or more. I’m starting to believe that you do belong in here." Alan began pointing to his fingers, rattling off a host of reasons to support what he was saying. "He married you for money! He stayed with you for scotch. And he’s made a fool out of you."
"Enough, Alan!" Tracy yelled, throwing her hands up to make him stop. She hated it when he was right.
He sat quietly for a moment. When he spoke, there was both compassion and concern in his voice. "Trace," he said. He hadn’t called her that since they were kids. "One of the strongest things you’ve always had going for you is your ability to see through the bullshit and know what’s true. It’s why your gut instinct is always on the money, and why you are such an excellent business woman. Don’t loose that now when you need it the most."
"I love him, Alan," she said matter-of-fact.
"I know," he said, sadly. "But, you are never going to be number one for him, Tracy. Not in his eyes and not in his heart. You need to let him go, while you still have some dignity left."
Tracy let out her bellowing laugh. "I can’t," she said, straightening her stance, confirming her position. When she spoke, her voice caught. "I’m like a moth to flame."
Alan shook his head from side to side - what one does when the sound advice they’ve just given has been rejected. He went to his sister and put his arms around her, whispering in her ear. "Tracy, you’re in for a heartbreak. There’s only one woman who Luke Spencer loves, and it ain’t you, Babe." Then, he disappeared.
Tracy stood there feeling alone and dejected. Every word that Alan had said was true. She knew it. She felt it, but she couldn’t accept it.
She kept hearing Alan say, "It ain’t you, Babe." The lines between love and hate were growing thinner with every passing day that he made no contact with her. Tracy walked to the barred window and stared out. She was feeling very scorned. Luke thought he was in hell now. He didn’t know what hell looked like until he had seen a Quartermaine scorned.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to steel her heart from what she knew was inevitable. Her feelings for Luke were going to destroy her. She could hear the distant hooves of the pale horse, and hell would surely follow...

https://youtu.be/I_y9FB3O7j0 [It Ain't Me Babe/Bob Dylan]

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